Appreciation vs Talent (Math Competitions)

In 7th grade, my school administered a Mathcounts school sprint round in order to select a team to go to a nearby chapter competition. Most students were under the impression that I was really smart and were shocked when I didn’t get in, which made me feel pretty bad. Even a good friend of mine, who did get in, poked fun at me for it.

Because of this, my competitive instinct kicked in, and I studied. REALLY studied. I went to the chapter round the following year with the rest of the team and got… top 40. I was devastated. The friend of mine mentioned above nearly got top 10, and I was unbelievably upset. It killed me to realize that while he hadn’t studied, there were people equally as ”naturally talented” who HAD, for years upon years. I, irrationally I know, resolved to quit caring about math after that. It killed me also because this was only the CHAPTER ROUND. The very first qualifier.

But I couldn’t. In the undertaking, despite my best attempts not to, I had fallen in love with competitive math. No… not just competitive math. ALL math. I couldn’t describe it, but the subject took hold of me, and wouldn’t let go.

It took a lot for me to get over my bitterness. Why should people get to be more successful than me when I love it so much more? I thought, how could that possibly be fair?

To this day, I’m grateful for the experience. This side of me which had previously been unveiled now showed itself like a shining star. I’m grateful for it despite how jarring it seemed at the time. I now realize skill isn’t everything, and there is more to competition than winning, than just BEING better than the others. In a complete shift of perspective, I now appreciate people for the work they put in - the nature of their success - rather than just THE SUCCESS. Because so much goes into success - circumstances, inborn talent, AND hard work.

I’m going into the 11th grade, which concludes my break from competition. My dream has always been AIME - something I understand to be a relatively low bar for a person in the competitive math scene. Heck, I might not even be able to accomplish that! But heck if I care. I’ve (unfortunately and fortunately) uncovered this love for math that I can’t escape, and in retrospect, I realized I’ve gained so much from even just that one failure. I’ve become a better problem solver, a better sport, I found my passion, and so much more. I’m so eager to see what I will learn as I continue this endeavor.

Thanks for taking the time to read this!! Have a lovely day :)