It should be the best day of my life, but shameful, silly failure dragged my heart like I dragged the Alabama National Mathcounts Team.
It was the 3rd day of Mathcounts Nationals, Countdown day, at Washington D.C. what I have dreamed of ever since I started middle school. Allan, the Alabama state captain, was the champion. And we didn't do too bad as a team- 11th place. I should be romping around with Albert and Eric, who were gloating their scores of 25 and 28.
But I am 4th place in Alabama, 110th place nationally, who got a 23 out of 46. I am the reason we were 11th instead of 10th place. What a difference 1 number makes! 10th place gets recognition, and 11th nothing.
My friends Kevin and Aaryan from Florida slumped in the chairs. “The graders couldn’t read!” Aaryan complained, “Just because of handwriting!” I told them about how horribly I did- we both got 4 out of 8 on target. I felt a little better, knowing that my friends supported me, but I shared the unfairness. People who also got 23 but won tiebreakers had 2 digit ranks and I had a 3rd wheel to weigh me down!
Kevin and Aaryan were USAJMO qualifiers, much smarter than me. “How do you get good and qualify?” I asked. They suggested I print out and practice a lot of AIME problems. They were hard and would help me be better at AMC10s.
Just when I felt better, Allan, Alexander, and many of the top 56 qualifiers joined us. The crowd had grown to around 20 people, so Allan shared Sprite, Water, and a bag of Trollis. Everyone except me grabbed handfuls. We signed yearbooks and started For the Win games. Although the countdown was over, the rest of those who didn’t make the top 12 still wanted to join the fun! Victor from the Illinois team was kind enough to help me access For the Win on my phone, but we were too late to join Allan’s massive game. In our own games, he won most of them, but I answered some questions faster than him and won a few games.
Victor was about to teach me generating functions when the Alabama coach Mrs. Morrison called.
“I would like to meet you in your room.” She said. Oh no.
“My rank!” I kept panicking as we went up the staircase to the 3rd floor.
“No. It’s going to be good.” She insisted.
I unlocked my room. Thankfully, my roommate, Catherine, USAJMO qualifier and member of the 4th place Iowa team, was gone so she wouldn’t see me cry. I froze in front of my table, silent. Catherine Xu had a two time competitor certificate. I only had a participant plaque.
“I’m so proud of you.” Mrs. Morrison said, “so I wanted to give you a gift. I wanted to give it here because boys don’t care about this.”
She revealed a large box. I lifted the lid and gasped. It was a model of Washington D.C. with the major monuments, big and heavy enough to need two hands to carry. Exactly what I eyed in the gift shop!
I thanked her, but I also wanted to tell her something, “How do you think the rest of the team would feel? My score was above 20, but my rank was 110. I am the reason we got 11th. Everyone else did better than me. They would blame me for not being in the top 10.”
“I know, it's tough, but you did great. Last year, we got 13th place. And you’re the only girl on the team.”
Mrs. Morrison comforted me, but I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of shame. I was proud to be a girl who does math when I win female STEM competitions or extra perks. Besides, it is an excuse when I do bad. But then again, I must prove that girls can do math as well as, and better, than boys. But I am ashamed when I am one of the few girls in the room, living proof that girls are bad at math, and the smart boys tease me about "flirting" with Allan.
But there are also boys who shared my disappointment and sincerely wanted to help me qualify for USAJMO. There are boys who gazed at the only girl on the champion's team admiringly, who knew she deserved to be at Nationals like them. There are girls who strive to break boundaries and solve issues the boys will never face. And there is the coach of the Alabama team, of the national champion and a champion for the underrepresented gender.
“Yeah, at least I got top 50% and we didn’t get 12th or worse.” I smiled.
I realized, champion coaches not only coach champions; they make their entire team feel like champions.
Thank for sharing your story with us! Are you fine with allowing us to possibly put your story in our newsletter? Please let us know! Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your story with us! Girls can do math very well! 👍